Join the FVZA

If, as I predict, we experience worldwide vampire and zombie outbreaks within the next 20 years, who will we turn to for help? Our military forces are overextended and ill-trained for combating the undead. The fact is, our only hope is a well-trained specialized fighting force like the FVZA. Therefore, I have decided to reconstitute the provisional FVZA to get a head start on this process.

Provisional Agents study at a
Tennessee training camp in 1942

The provisional FVZA operated during wartime, when agent shortages forced civilians to lend a hand in the fight against vampires and zombies. Provisional agents tracked unusual disappearances, searched abandoned buildings and took incident reports. The Provisionals did a fine job, but they had no communication network and often had trouble passing information on to other regions in a timely manner. With the Internet, that problem should be a thing of the past.

Understand, this new version of the FVZA is very much a work in progress, and the directives and priorities will likely change over time. For now, provisional agents should start up and maintain a database of potential vampire and zombie hiding places in their area. Pictures of these would be very helpful and will be posted. Agents should record and track unusual news stories and missing persons reports. In addition, I will be providing incident report forms that you can fill out and submit for posting on the site. The goal is to create a network of people trained in the vampire and zombie fighting arts so that we will be ahead of the game if and when an outbreak occurs.

As more people join, I will organize team members into regions. Each region will have their own section on the site, with a list of agents, information on possible vampire/zombie hideouts and a record of incident reports. Please note that although I am based in the United States, I am actively seeking agents from all parts of the world.

To join, all you need to do is fill out a simple form accessible via the link below. Your agent name should be a nickname or pseudonym. You may choose one of three options: investigator, assault team or shadow. For explanations of these positions, go here. Beyond that, all I need is the city or town where you're based, and an e-mail address. If you have any special skills or areas of interests, please make note of them in the space provided. I will create a personalized ID card and mail it back to you. You are welcome to cut and paste a picture of yourself or an avatar into the ID.

Follow This Link to Join Now!

Disclaimer: The Provisional FVZA is an organization of private citizens concerned with maintaining the vampire and zombie fighting arts and is in no way affiliated with the U.S. government (given the government's recent record on law enforcement, that's probably a good thing). Provisional FVZA agents are not deputized and are under no circumstances to exercise the Powers of Termination once granted to FVZA agents.