The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency

tviruszombiedog

Zombies are not real. They have never existed and never will exist. We have no proof and no evidence other than the Haitian blow fish drug that simply gives someone the semblance of death.

Romero type zombies do not exist.
Resident Evil zombies do not exist.
Zombies that shuffle and eat living flesh do not exist.
Magical zombies do not exist.
The Zombie Survival Guide was not based on real events. It was make believe.
We do not hunt zombies.
We do not have zombies in our basements.
We do not shoot people that act like zombies.

Lastly we do not have to have every one that comes to this forum having to tell us these facts. We get it. Zombies ain’t real so PLEASE STOP TELLING US.

If you had actually read the sign in form instead of glancing you would have seen this site is for entertainment purposes.

We still discuss the hows, whys, and maybes of zombies even though they do not exist and we do not have to be told they are not real every other day by you or anyone else. 200 other people have already beaten you to the punch. Thanks for the concern but we get it. Thanks and have a nice day.
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When I lost my wife to cancer six months ago it was the worst moment of my life until I saw her re-animated body being dragged down main street behind a motorcycle. David O'Leary

Your Rapier Wit · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:21 am Post subject:

DUDE!!!! NO WAY!!!!! Shocked

Im incredibly saddened.

Yea, they're coming, they're comin man... Twisted Evil

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Precor Incendia Intus

Judge_Khan · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:59 am Post subject:

Sticky'd.
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Gummerfan · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:39 am Post subject:

Sure, that's what THEY'd like us to believe. Cool

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My dreams are all dead and buried,
Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode.
When God comes and calls me to His kingdom,
I'll take all ya sons-a-bitches when I go.
-Squidbillies-

http://gummerfansmonsterhunterhq.blogspot.com

Doctor_Bedlam · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:44 am Post subject:

We don't shoot people who act like zombies?

Booger. Sad

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"Know Enough To Be Afraid"
-- motto of Transylvania Polygnostic University

Gummerfan · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:48 am Post subject:

Vampyre13 · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:35 am Post subject:

*clubs zed over head in basement*

Huh?... sorry.. i was busy ..... OH!! Shocked

*turns to zed*..... uhhh.... my bad.
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Gramps out!!! *poof*

tviruszombiedog · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:56 pm Post subject:

I just realised I can't do the I killed a zombie mental illness plea now bummer. Crying or Very sad

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When I lost my wife to cancer six months ago it was the worst moment of my life until I saw her re-animated body being dragged down main street behind a motorcycle. David O'Leary

Tron · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:28 pm Post subject:

Of course zombies aren't real. That's just ridiculous.

Now, bigfoot on the other hand...
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"Let's get ready to rock and roll with the Ramones!"
-End of the Century

westsidewolf · Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 6:14 pm Post subject:

No such thing as zombies you say?

Come to my town. We'll hang out in front of a 4 am bar on saturday when they close at 5 am.

You will believe.
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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

ZombieDiva · Shadow Joined: 31 May 2006 Posts: 513

But I really DO have a zombie in my basement! Don't be hatin'!

blah · sir fails alot Joined: 03 Nov 2004 Posts: 8891

my zombie is more badass than yours.

ash_wednesday · Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 2:58 pm Post subject:

ZombieDiva · Shadow Joined: 31 May 2006 Posts: 513

Yeah, true, but I let him out to play once in a while, so yes they do exist!

Aaron wild · Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 11:47 am Post subject:

you are wrong dead wrong as a matter of fact, zombies can do and have existed for a very long time. you should get better resources for study than a computer so you can learn about them. not to mention i know of first hand zombie eye whitnesses, i personaly have only seen their pics, but is was a reliable source with no photo shop crap of other techy touch ups. how dare you say zombies arent real!!! your not real!
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death through battle is the only true death!