Famous Cases | Historical Tales | Vampires | Zombies
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Date/Time: December 6, 2002/11:00 p.m.
Incident: It was my 25th birthday and me and I hit downtown Baltimore with a couple of buddies for some live music. Being the designated driver (on my birthday, can you imagine?), I had only consumed a couple of beers while the others were inebriated. Two of my tainted friends wanted to hang around the place, so me and my friend - I'll call him Woody - headed over to another spot near the water and warehouse district. We had almost arrived when I saw a naked figure prancing about behind some bushes. There was some sinister laughter, but I played that off due to the wacky party held at Fletchers, where we were headed. There we saw about six, maybe seven, zombie-like creatures huddled over something. I also heard crunching sounds, like that of a bone snapping. Above them stood the menacing yet whimsical naked character. He was staring down at what looked to be an arm. With a sniff of the air, he spotted us and, over the moans of the zombie-things, I heard him laugh. I don't know if the denizens of evil were teaming up to consume the whole of Baltimore, but these vampires were definitely working with the zombies. I looked over to Woody, who promptly wet himself and collapsed with fear like a heavy sack of wet sand. I wanted to run, but I couldn't leave Woody there. The naked thing looked at me and bared yellow-brown teeth, obviously stained with blood. And then one of the zombie-things stumbled towards me, and I almost laughed at its sluggishness. I backed away from it, but then it staggered toward Woody. I kicked the thing in its head and it fell over. The vampire rushed at me, and I grabbed a long, thin pole that was casually laid next to the warehouse wall. I cracked him across his face with the pole, but still he smiled. From behind me I heard a car come to a tire-screeching halt, and then the sound of doors opening. I swung once more at the thing, but its attention was diverted by the car. I looked back once more and was met with a fist to my face.
I woke up not knowing how long I had been out. Woody was there scratching his head and looking at his wet pants. I don't know who to thanks for the broken nose, but I'm assuming you saved our lives, so thanks.